If you see an undisciplined child running amok, wearing layered clothing that has clearly been hand-sewn by local artisans, chances are, you will find a hipster parent very close by. Too close, in fact, because everyone knows a good parent has to be three fucking inches away from their kid at all times. I mean, they might encounter something awful, like a smoker, or a Christian. Whether they are basking in pulsating rays of smugness or drinking fair-trade coffee, hipster parents are "on the scene" even if it's 10 am at the public library. These ecologically and socially conscious philosophers are raising an army of seemingly well-adjusted children who will grow up to hate their parents as much as we hated ours, they're just spending more time and money on the way. Don't ever compare yourself to a hipster parent! They have hybrid cars, use non-violent communication and lo-flow bathroom plumbing. Their children know how to recycle while yours are still hucking the Big Gulp cup out of the window of your 17-mile-to-the-gallon piece of shit that just failed emissions.
Where to find them: College towns, Transitional big-city neighborhoods, the Pacific-Northwest, Montessori schools
Where to find them in 10 years: NA, AA, The Unitarian Church, Match.com
How to engage at a party: Ask them why they post MLK quotes on FB and voted for Obama but they don't want their kids going school with minorities. It's fun.
Warning: Will make you feel bad about taking your kids to the circus.
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